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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837387">second life</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_sized_goblin/pseuds/life_sized_goblin'>life_sized_goblin</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, Consecution, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Major Character Undeath, Post-Canon, Reincarnation, Xhorhas (Critical Role), caleb's tiefling form, give me that sweet consecution, i thought about this at school one day, i'm not even sorry, mentions of The Mighty Nein - Freeform, mentions of the Bright Queen, minor mighty nein</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 14:48:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,985</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22837387</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/life_sized_goblin/pseuds/life_sized_goblin</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Caleb and Essek had gotten married at the end of the adventures of the Mighty Nein's adventures. Unfortunately, humans don't live as long as drow do. Fortunately, there's always room for second chances...</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Essek Thelyss &amp; Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>142</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. one door closes...</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>this is my first fic so please bare with me! i came up with this idea on the fly, so i don't know if people actually want this. updates will be posted as i figure it out more!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seventy years. Seventy years of Caleb Widogast’s life had been given to a man that Bren Aldric Ermendrud would have considered an enemy.</p><p>After peace had been achieved, and the need for mercenaries or adventurers was beginning to dwindle, Caleb had decided to settle down. He and Essek had been dancing around their feelings for a while now, and when he got the first chance to, he confessed. He spilled his aching heart out to the Shadowhand, telling him that he loved his keen mind, that his beauty was unmatched by even the stars in the sky, that he was everything that Caleb needed and more. It was oddly poetic (he had gotten a little help from Yasha, who told him about how she had confessed to her wife). </p><p>And it worked. Essek had accepted Caleb’s confession, and much more. The two of them remained together for a few years before deciding to go all the way and making it official. Despite everything, despite the risks it had attached to it and knowing that the two of them were very different of many levels, they got married in Rhosonna. The Mighty Nein were all there, as well as the majority of Den Theylss. It was overseen by the Bright Queen herself, alongside her own soulmate, the captain of her guard.</p><p>The ceremony had been beautiful; the entire party celebrated for the better part of the night, preparing to celebrate their lives together for as long as they should live.</p><p>For Essek, it felt like it all went by in the blink of an eye. One moment, it was the night after their wedding, spent doing nothing but laying with one another and pressing soft kisses to one another’s lips, foreheads, shoulders, anywhere they could reach. The next, Essek was watching Caleb start to struggle as he got older. Even if he had known about it before they had gotten married, the thought of Caleb aging faster than him was something he had allowed to remain at the back of his mind. Something he didn’t want to think about - something he didn’t want to remember. He did his best to take care of his beloved in his final few years. Fifty years felt like nothing to a dark elf that wasn’t even halfway through his lifetime. </p><p>Eventually, Caleb was bed ridden. His body didn’t move like it used to. His body was slowly giving up, already having lived longer than he expected to. The human wizard was already a little over a hundred years old at this point - longer than even most of his travelling companions had lived. Essek felt hopeless, unsure of what to do… until he realized what he could do.</p><p>It took time to convince the Bright Queen to consecute Caleb. Consecution had been reserved for nobles and the more notable dens for centuries; only recently had those outside the small circle had been allowed to go through the process of consecution. Essek, however, was desperate. He wanted more time with Caleb; it felt like he had just gotten the love of his life, and now he was slipping away. He was willing to wait the few years it took for Caleb’s new form to grow into adulthood, it would go by even faster than their marriage had. He just wanted time. </p><p>With appealing to her softer side (along with help from the captain of the guard), they were able to convince the Queen to allow the consecution ritual to take place. Two priests of the Luxon, both of them experienced in the process of consecution, followed Essek to the Theylss/Widogast residence. They went up the stairs of the towers, ending up in their shared chambers, Caleb half asleep in the bed. Essek moved to kneel beside the bed, taking Caleb’s hand in his. “Caleb… these fine people with me are here to help you. You’re going to consecuted. You’ll get a second life. And a third. And many more, so we can continue to be together as long as we can remember one another.”</p><p>Caleb, whose formerly orange-brown hair had turned a silver-grey, his face now deep with wrinkles and his breath coming out more raspy than it used it be, looked up at Essek, his face cracking with a gentle smile. “Essek…” he whispered, his voice hoarse in a way that no drink could truly fix. “Hopefully I can be something that lives longer next time.” The joke was lost as Essek backed up, the priests starting to set up their materials around the bed; a circle drawn with chalk, a twelve-sided shape added inside that, with a dark blue-purple crystal set at each point. Candles were lit in four places in the circle, near the four corners of the bed.</p><p>Essek watched on silently as the priests began to chant, the priests speaking rapidly in Undercommon as the crystals began to glow. Caleb’s eyes shut as he listened, moving his head to face Essek despite not looking. It took some time to get through the whole ritual, the light from the candles dancing as the crystals continued to glow brighter and brighter, before eventually dimming as the ritual came to its close. Essek, once the priests gave the all-clear, rushed forwards and took Caleb’s hand in his, bringing it too his lips and kissing the knuckles as a pair of bright blue eyes opened and looked up at him.</p><p>Caleb had only lived a week longer after the ritual. Essek had been out to get tea and some medicine for his husband before he came home and found that he was no longer breathing. The Shadowhand had broken down that night, arranging for his husband to be buried with the rest of the dead from Den Theylss. Caleb may not have ever taken the Den name, but he still belonged to Den Theylss as much as Essek had rights to the last name Widogast.</p><p>However, somewhere across Xhorhas, a baby tiefling came into fruition, no memory of the life before this one, as he cried out, his lungs new to the world.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. ... another door opens</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armai begins to have strange dreams, and his family is there to help.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? next day chapter??? yes i wanted to write this real bad so uhhhhhhh here's the next chapter! i am glad that people are enjoying what i'm putting out. enjoy chapter two &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eight-year-old Amrai, a small and dark blue tiefling child, hid in a cupboard, his light yellow eyes peeking out slightly to see how close his older sister was to his hiding place. He was the house champion of hide-and-seek, as Oridani wasn’t able to get into small places like he was; both due to size and the fact that her horns were growing high instead of curling back like his own. He silently grinned as she walked right past him. This was a new record; an hour and a half of hiding in a singular spot. </p><p>However, Amrai found himself nodding off. It had been after supper when they had started their game, so it might be late. However, he was persistent; he wanted to see how long he could truly hide. So, as he closed his eyes to slowly fall asleep, curled up in a cupboard in the small kitchen of the Arivine family home, he began to dream.</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Flashes of scenes. A menagerie of strange people fighting alongside him, balls of fire flying out of his hands, streams of fire attacking monsters with many mouths. He saw dancing with a happy-looking tiefling girl, or sharing a bed with a strange goblin, or sitting and having a meal with a firbolg and a half-orc. He saw sitting in the back of a cart, going along a rough path with an orange-brown tabby curled up in his lap. It went by too quick for any true recognition, too fast for anything to click.</p><p>But then the fast succession stopped as he looked in the eyes of what appeared to be a drow. A drow that made him stop for a full minute; his eyes looking upon the face before him, taking in every ageless and beautiful feature. It was unlike anyone he had met before - quite literally breathtaking. He was holding both of the hands of this drow, and while the drow’s hands were soft and smooth, his own felt rough and calloused. He almost felt guilty for it - this almost ethereal drow holding hands in such poor shape.</p><p>They were standing before a female drow, adorned in glistening robes and jewelry; he was able to at least recognize her as the Bright Queen, ruler of the Kryn Dynasty. He couldn’t remember why she was here.</p><p>He could hear words coming from her mouth, but couldn’t make them out. It was like he was hearing the words under water, with pressure in his ears to match. He looked from the Bright Queen to the drow in front of him. He squeezed the hands he held, trying to decipher if this was real or not. He watched the drow’s brows draw together in confusion, as if he could feel unease.</p><p>“Caleb?”</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>“Essek?” The name seemed to fall out of Amrai’s mouth as he sat up with a jolt, hitting his forehead on the top of the cupboard.</p><p>“AHA!” Came a voice barely a minute later as the cupboard door flew open. “I will admit, two hours is very impressive, little brother,” Oridani complimented as she crouched down to look at the little tiefling in the cupboard, her own bright orange eyes crinkled from her grin. “But it was weirdly amature that you gave yourself away like that…”</p><p>“I didn’t mean for it to be amature,” Armai defended himself, despite the fact that he needed to take a moment to pronounce ‘amature’ correctly. “I fell asleep because you took so long! And I had this weird dream with a group of people and I was shooting fire from my hands and there was the really pretty drow man and the Bright Queen was there - “</p><p>“Woaaaah, woah woah woah, slow down,” Oridani stopped him, putting her hand on his shoulder and making him stop his rambling. “I am absolutely not the person you should talk to about dreams. You know that.” </p><p>Armai nodded, looking at the ground before starting to crawl out of the cupboard, walking into the den, and then towards his mother’s room. He knocked carefully, waiting to hear his mother’s sing-song voice say, “Come in!” before he walked into the room. It was still covered in various symbols and sigils related to the Moonweaver, a table sitting to the side with a neatly stacked tarot deck sitting in the center. The bed in the center was a four-poster, massive and decorated with light blue and purple drapes and sheets, with his mother sitting on the edge, back facing him, looking at the mirror of her vanity and brushing out her silvery-blonde hair as she prepared to sleep for the night.</p><p>He walked in and stood at the end of his mother’s bed, until she turned to look at him with a gentle smile. “Well hello there, my little star,” She said, setting down her brush beside her and offering her hand out to him. Armai walked around the bed that was nearly as tall as he was (He was a fairly short child, but his mother always told him that it just left room for growth later) and took his mother’s hand, squeezing it gently. “What seems to be the problem, Armai?” His mother asked softly, leaning in and lifting him up, setting him on the bed beside her.</p><p>“Mama, I had some weird dreams,” Armai said quite bluntly, looking into his mother’s eyes that were very similar to those of his sister. He explained how he and Oridani were playing hide-and-seek, how he had fallen asleep, how he had gotten flashes of memories and how he saw the ‘pretty drow man’ and the Bright Queen. His mother listened intently, holding his hand and nodding occasionally.</p><p>“Perhaps we should ask the cards?” His mother asked as she started to stand up, still holding onto Armai’s hand. He jumped off the bed and allowed her to lead him to her card table, sitting in one of the simple chairs beside hit. His mother moved to sit in the chair across from him, taking a moment to set up the deck properly before laying them out before her son. “Go ahead little star, ask a question,” she said as she swept her arm over the deck. </p><p> </p><p>Armai nodded before taking a deep breath. “Why am I having these dreams?” He asked, looking at the deck with wide eyes. There was a moment of silence, as if the deck needed it to think or as if the Moonweaver was pondering a correct answer, before his mother reached out and took a card from the deck that seemed to be calling out to her.</p><p>Before she announced the card, her breath seemed to get caught in her throat. She cleared her throat and laid down the card. “Death,” she said simply, the image of a tiefling warrior (that looked somewhat like his father) on a pale white horse with a crown of thorns taking Armai by surprise. “Do you know what that one means?” His mother asked, getting a shake of a head as a response. “It means endings, yes, but it also means changes. Transformation. Transitions.” She explained, taking the card back after a few moments. </p><p>She began to put the cards away, thinking that her son was done asking questions, before he blurted one out. “Who was the drow man?” Armai asked out of nowhere, eyes still wide and bright, hoping he could get an answer. His mother took a moment before grabbing a card that called to her, laying it on the table without saying anything.</p><p>The image of two tieflings, their tails forming a heart as they held hands before a high moon, looked back at Armai as he processed the answer he was given. He knew what this card ment - his mother always told the story of how she made it the day she married his father. But it made no sense - he didn’t know the drow man. But the cards spoke their answer with confidence, the card was no accident.</p><p>The card, now laying on the table under the gaze of the young tiefling Armai Arivine, who almost more confused than when he began to ask his mother questions, was the Lovers.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. a familiar face</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armai, now much older, has started experimenting the arcane. A spell goes a bit differently than planned, and he's face with someone from a lifetime ago that helps him to remember.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>this chapter definitely came out a bit later than my last one; hopefully the next one will be out faster. hopefully you guys will still enjoy it!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armai had been continuing to have these strange dreams for the last decade. Now a young man in his own right, he had continued to have dreams of what felt like a whole other life. Most were relatively pleasant, containing the drow man, as well as the group of six (or seven? Every once in a while there was a lilac-colored tiefling, but most of the time there was a firbolg with a strange shock of pink hair atop his head) that he seemed to spend quite a lot of time with.</p><p>However, there were also nightmares. Dreams of an old man torturing him, times of being completely numb. Dreams of a house burning to the ground, with screams of agony coming from inside. Dreams of the traveling group being killed, hurt, burned and bruised and poisoned. Dreams of the drow looking upon him in sadness as he was laying in bed, possibly sick. They were all still terribly patchy, but were becoming more commonplace. </p><p>Life still continued on, despite these dreams. As he grew older, his mother began to teach him and his older sister about the Moonweaver, and how she helped their family, as well as anyone who came to their mother for assistance about learning their fate. He also began taking on his own interests, slowly realizing he had a knack for the arcane. With help from a few local mages, he began to learn how to harness his power, borrowing books and copying them into old journals that had been laying around his house. His room began to be covered in sigils and spell equations and templates for runic circles. It was becoming an obsession, almost like second nature or something familiar to him, to spend an entire day trying to teach himself spells and working himself to near exhaustion to achieve perfection - much to the teasing of his sister, who was spending all that time practicing her swordsmanship. </p><p>Eventually, after building a working relationship with him and learning most of what he knows from him, one of the mages he had been talking to, an older goblin by the name of Cigg, scribbled down the instructions for a new type of spell - an hour-long ritual to summon a magical creature that would act as a companion for the caster. “They’re called familiars,” the goblin explained, holding up a hand to Armai as a small, grey snake with purple markings along its back slithered up his arm and looked up at the tiefling. “They can be our eyes and ears in places we cannot otherwise get to. Or just be good companions when you don’t have many,” Cigg added, before gathering the supplies and putting them in a bag for Armai, handing them over with a smile. “I believe you could put it to good use.”</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>That very night, after his mother and sister had gone to sleep, Armai had gone to work. He set up the incense and herbs in the brass brazier his mother had stored away, putting it in a small arcane circle he had drawn out with some chalk. He was told it would take a little over an hour, and despite the fact that it was already late, he was willing to spend the time that was needed for the spell. He used a basic cantrip to light the incense before sitting before the circle, crossing his legs before closing his eyes and starting to quietly chant.</p><p>Time felt elongated as he casted. Everything felt like it was moving slower around him - even the smoke coming off the strangely sweet-smelling incense seemed to be moving slower. The hour felt like a day as he finished his upteenth time repeating the same chant before he felt a subtle wave of arcane energy. When he opened his eyes, there, standing before him, was his supposed familiar - a mostly orange tabby cat, with some darker brown stripes contrasting against the color that seemed brighter than the fur of most cats he had come to know. The eyes glittered a bright green - much like the lush forests of the Feywild - and seemed like they were looking into Armai’s very soul, not just as his face.</p><p>Armai couldn’t put his finger on it, but he could have sworn he had seen this cat before. However, it didn’t take him long to shake off the thought as the cat walked up to him and hopped into his lap, taking no time in cuddling close and purring against the tiefling, like they were old friends seeing one another for the first time in ages. Armai merely smiled, starting to pet the fey-cat gently. It didn’t take long for him to nod off like that - sitting on the floor of his room with his newly found companion curled up with him.</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>A cat. A raven. A small owl. An octopus. A monkey. A multitude of animals flashed before his eyes, but each of them with the same name, the same identity, the same familiarity. Each form with different memories. But eventually, all others led back to the cat.</p><p>The visions were getting more solid, more concrete. They were getting through better and better, and yet they still always ended with the same scene - the Bright Queen, with him and the drow man from before. Each time ending with the same name. “Caleb?” The drow man would ask, before he would wake up.</p><p>However, tonight was different. It began the same, with being barely able to hear anything, squeezing the hands of the drow, the drow looking concerned and saying the name that might have been his (he wasn’t sure anymore). But this time, he was able to answer. “Ja?” His voice was foreign - Zemnian. Different than he had normally sounded. </p><p>“Are you alright?” The drow asked, head tilting. “You seem worried.”</p><p>“Just nervous I’m going to mess this up,” He responded, holding onto the drow’s hands tighter. “You already know how I - “</p><p>“You are good enough, darling,” The drow interjected, before he could say anything else. “I wouldn’t have agreed to your proposal if I didn’t think you were.”</p><p>He felt himself crack a smile before taking a deep breath. “Right,” he said simply, before looking up at the Bright Queen and nodding. He saw her smile, before starting to speak in Undercommon. He wasn’t able to understand what she was saying, but he felt his heart begin to swell with every word - out of fear or love, he couldn’t tell. He turned his eyes back to the drow, keeping a gentle smile on his face. </p><p>Eventually, the Bright Queen switched to Common. “Caleb Widogast; by the power of the Luxon and its power that surrounds us, and by the will of your own beating heart, do you swear to care for Essek Theylss and hold his needs above your own, for as long as you both shall live?”</p><p>“Ja. Yes, absolutely,” He heard himself answer, his voice now much more confident. </p><p>The Bright Queen turned to the drow - to Essek - and spoke again in Undercommon, most likely asking the same thing of him. Essek looked at him and smiled before replying, “Yes.” </p><p>The Bright Queen’s voice rose, still speaking Undercommon, before a crowd that he had no idea was there before began cheering; familiar voices of the strange group he had visions of were louder than any other voices in the room. He was grinning from ear to ear before leaning forwards, pressing his lips to Essek’s in a soft, sweet, loving kiss, his arms going around the man he had just married, with the feeling of a feline pressing against his leg below them.</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>Armai awoke once more with a start, sitting upright on his bedroom floor, eyes wide as he took heaving breaths. He pressed two fingers to his lips, as if he expected something else to be there - like he expected Essek to be before him. </p><p>Essek. Essek Theylss. The name felt so familiar yet so distant. Essek. Essek. Essek Theylss. He allowed himself to say the name out loud to himself a couple of times, as if getting used to it. Eventually, he got distracted by a purring fey cat in his lap, causing him to be startled once more. </p><p>He looked down at the familiar, meeting bright green eyes that now seemed even more familiar. He thought hard, searching the back of his mind, trying to hunt through memories that were his, and yet not his at the same time. Once he found what he was searching for, he also made the decision that he had an errand that he had to run; to a distant city in the Dynasty.</p><p>“Looks like we have somewhere to be, Frumpkin.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. working towards the answers</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armai and his newly found companion decide to make their way to Rosohna, hoping to finally get some answers about his dreams from the person that seemed to be the biggest part of them.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>i'm not sure how many chapters are going to be left in this story. i might do one more, alongside an epilogue, but i'm not sure. however, all the feedback i've been getting has been mostly positive, so thank you for joining me on this fic. definitely expect more to come from me!</p><p>also two chapters in one day? it's more likely when you think (and when i've got this story stuck in my head)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armai spent two weeks preparing for the trek. He was going based off of complete guess work - The Bright Queen was in the wedding memory, and she currently lived in the capital of the Dynasty, Rosohna. He hoped that the city would at least give him a few clues as to where this Essek Theylss lived; how he could get to him, ask him questions and try to figure out these dreams, or memories, or whatever they are. He packed for three days worth of travel, as well as enough gold to pay for rooms at inns and any extra meals or supplies he may need, plus some spell components if he truly needed them.</p><p>“Are you sure about this, my little star?” Armai’s mother asked, holding Frumpkin and petting his orange-brown fur as he packed his horse early in the morning - the sun barely peeking over the edge of the horizon.</p><p>“I’m positive, Mama,” He responded, tying the last bag to the side of his steed - his grey and black speckled mare, Faelee. “If this man can give me answers, then I absolutely need to go to him.” </p><p>His mother nodded as he turned to face her, handing over Frumpkin before wrapping her arms around him. “Please send word when you get there that you’re okay. Make sure to come back to me soon,” She said softly as Oridani stood by silently, as stoic as she usually was nowadays. Armai turned to her once he was free from their mother’s iron grasp. He smiled and walked up to his sister, cat cradled in his arms.</p><p>“Remember. No matter what this guy - this drow - tells you. You’ll always be Armai Arivine. My little brother, and her son,” Oridani said before cracking a smile. “And a terrible swordsman,” she added lightly punching his shoulder.</p><p>“At least I’ll always be a better spellcaster,” Armai quipped with a smirk before sighing. “I’ll miss you, Ori.”</p><p>“Aw, don’t get all sentimental on me. You have a drow to find,” Oridani replied, making a shooing motion with her hand. “Go on, you gotta get on the road before nightfall.” Armai nodded, going to Faelee and climbing on, setting Frumpkin in front of him before turning the horse towards the road. He gave one more look at his family before looking at the road ahead, and with the snap of the reigns, he was off.</p><p> </p><p>**********</p><p> </p><p>The way to Rosohna wasn’t exactly as rough as Armai had expected. He took main roads the whole time, stopping in towns when it got to nightfall in order to room and be well rested for the next day. The Ghostlands surrounding the city served to be the highest challenge, trying to go through quickly and quietly. He was able to get by with little to no trouble - thank the Moonweaver for that - towards the city’s walls. </p><p>Getting into the city was a challenge, but doable. Honestly, everything was a blur to Armai. He was so focused on his task at hand that everything else didn’t matter. However, his brain finally came back into focus when he saw the city - big and beautiful, blanketed in an eternal night, with glittering green crystals to light up the city. Despite it looking like it was midnight, the city was bustling with drow, orcs, goblins, bugbears, a few tieflings, and other races that he’s not even sure he’s seen. Everything was new and different, but deep down he knew it was familiar. </p><p>Eventually he began asking around for directions. “Excuse me, do you know where I could find Essek Theylss?” “Pardon me, I’m trying to find an Essek Theylss?” “Do you happen to know Essek Theylss?” Repeatedly, Armai got shut down, and no one seemed to know who the fresh hell Essek Theylss was or where he lived. Until he got lucky.</p><p>“Excuse me, mister!” A young drow girl called from the ground, causing Armai to stop Faelee from her trot. “I heard you were searching for Essek Theylss?” </p><p>Armai got off his horse, kneeling down to be more on the girl’s level. “Yes, I am. Would you happen to know where he is?”</p><p>“I do! I do I do I do!” She said repeatedly, grabbing the tiefling’s hand. “But I have to know who you are. I can’t just bring anyone to meet Essek. You have to be SUPER important,” she babbled on. “What’s your name, mister?”</p><p>“Oh, I’m Armai Ari - “ Armai caught himself mid sentence. He thought for a moment before deciding to come at it from another angle. “Ah, my name is Armai Arivine. Or at least, now it is. Before, I believe it was Caleb Widogast. Or at least, I’ve seen myself as Caleb Widogast. Maybe I was him? It’s still a little patchy, but I’m hoping Essek can help me - “ </p><p>He wasn’t able to get out the rest of his sentence before the little girl was squealing. “Caleb! Caleb you’re back!” She was practically jumping for joy, eventually hugging Armai tightly as she spoke rapidly, barely taking any breaths. “Essek can definitely get you help - I think this is normal with the weird consecution stuff? I don’t understand it yet, but my mother told me I’ll understand it when I’m older and I get consecuted because everyone in our Den gets consecuted - “</p><p>“Woah woah woah, slow down little one,” Armai interrupted, not wanting her to faint from lack of air and her rambling. “Tell you what. You tell me how to get to Essek, and I’ll let you ride Faelee on the way there,” He said, reaching up to pat his horse’s side, Frumpkin looking down from his perch upon Faelee’s back. The little drow was fast to agree, and Armai lifted her up and set her on Faelee’s back. “Now, where to?”</p><p>The little girl, who had introduced herself as Minva, gave Armai directions to a more residential area of Rosohna. This area looked slightly more familiar to him than the city did at first; the memories of the area more solid than the entrance of the city. He got brief flashes of himself and his group of adventurers walking through the area, laughing on the way to a destination that was unclear; the tiefling girl, the pink firbolg, a tall stoic-looking woman, the handsome half-orc, the human women with multiple piercings and tattoos, and the goblin girl he used to share a bed with, all together with him, making him feel safe. Making him feel at home.</p><p>“Here we are!” Minva cheered from her spot on top of the horse, Frumpkin curled up and purring in her arms. Armai looked up at the wondrous structure before him; three different towers, of varying sizes, all connected by various walkways, with something akin to a weathervane in the center, moving and tracking something Armai didn’t understand. </p><p>“It’s beautiful,” Armai stated, taken aback by the beauty of the structures before him. However, he also noticed that there was a fairly large metal gate in the way. “Eh, Minva… How are we supposed to get in?”</p><p>“Easy peasy, Caleb!” Minva replied as she got down from Faelee, landing gracefully and handing Frumpkin to Armai. “Teather her up, and then we can go in!” </p><p>Armai did as he was told, tethering Faelee to a fencepost and whispering, “We’ll be back in a few moments,” before turning to the little girl and taking a deep breath, looking up at the strange but beautiful home before him. “Lead the way, little one,” he said, starting to pet Frumpkin as he felt his heart begin to race out of a mix of fear and weird excitement. There were faint memories of Frumpkin being comforting, and so far he could confirm that the memory was true. </p><p>Minva walked up to the gate, putting her hand on it and muttering something in Undercommon before it swung open. He immediately raced through, leaving Armai in the dust and causing him to frantically try to catch up as she ran towards the door. “Essek!” She started yelling as she knocked on the door, Armai running up behind her. “Essek, it’s me! I have someone here for you!” </p><p>The door swung open slowly, the face behind it causing Armai’s eyes to go wide. There, standing in the doorway, was Essek. He was in comfortable clothes, much like outfits other residents of Rosohna were wearing when he came in, looking like he wasn’t expecting many guests. He otherwise looked almost the exact same as he did in the dreams and visions Armai had, minus the dark circles that were now under his eyes; a sign of grief, of stress. It caused Armai’s heart to break seeing them, despite the fact that he himself had never spoken a word in his life to this man. “Minva, who is this?” Essek asked, looking down at the little girl.</p><p>Armai’s words seemed to get stuck in his throat, before he cleared it and tried to use his voice. “M-my name is Armai Arivine? But recently I’ve been having strange dreams since I was young, with you being a part of them. I was hoping to ask you for help?”</p><p>“It’s Caleb, Essek! It’s Caleb!” Minva interjected, looking up at Essek and grinning.</p><p>“Ah, yes, t-that is the name you called me in them. Caleb Widogast,” Armai elaborated. “I’m not sure if it - “</p><p>Armai was cut off by Essek suddenly rushing out, wrapping his arms tightly around the tiefling and squeezing him tightly. Armai took a few moments as Frumpkin jumped out of his arms, before slowly wrapping his arms around the drow, unsure of what else to do. However, he appreciated how warm Essek felt - how comforting the feeling was. How it felt like home.</p><p>“Eighteen years,” Essek said as he pulled away, moving his hands to hold Armai’s face, thumbs rubbing over the slight stubble that had begun to grow in the days of travel and the lack of  shaving. “And you’ve finally come back to me.”</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. filling in the blanks</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Armai and Essek work together to bring everything back... Opening a door that had been previously shut.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>sorry this chapter took so long - life got in the way of it! here's the last proper chapter, but i will add a short epilogue soon.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Armai was brought inside the home of Essek Theylss, very faint memories of the happenings of the home filling his mind. A ritual gone wrong was one of the most prominent - something to do with the goblin girl he kept seeing in his dreams. Nevertheless, he was brought into the dining room, where he sat down beside Minva, the drow girl who had helped him find Essek, on his right, and Essek sitting at the head of the table to his left.</p>
<p>“I was beginning to worry you would never try to come find me,” Essek said with a soft smile, offering his hand on the table, palm up. Armai hesitated, before taking it. “People usually start their journey into the Dynasty sooner,” Essek continued to explain, “and when it hit the thirteen mark, I began to suspect that I would have to wait longer for your soul to return, or that you had moved on.”</p>
<p>“I may not remember everything at the moment,” Armai said, his voice soft and calm despite all his confusion, “but from what I do remember, and what I feel deep down, I could never move on from you.”</p>
<p>The tiefling heard the soft hitch of breath from Essek, his own heart still racing. “We need to get you to the Lucid Bastion. Or to a cleric at the very least.” The drow explained, squeezing Armai’s hand gently. “We can begin the process of merging your memories of your past life to this one. You won’t have these dreams you speak of anymore. You’ll have them as more solid memories instead; you’ll be able to recall everything.”</p>
<p>Armai thought for a few moments, waiting before standing up, still holding onto Essek’s hand. “Then the sooner the better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**********</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The walk towards the Lucid Bastion felt longer than it actually was to Armai. He was going to get what he had been desiring for a decade - answers. Clarity. The truth of it all. Essek explained along the way that the ritual would take about a day, but it would feel like longer. It would feel like an entire lifetime was playing in his head - because honestly, it was. But when he would come to, he would be able to remember everything. </p>
<p>Upon such short notice, the Clerics on hand at the Bastion were rushing to gather what they needed. It wasn’t every day that someone that was consecuted and returned home, needing all their memories to be restored to them. However, after about an hour of prep, the ritual was ready - a large, wooden table stood in the center of the room, with runes forming multiple rings around it. There were plenty of candles, all dancing with an unnaturally green flame as the sweet smell of incense burned around him. Armai looked upon the scene, before looking at Essek, who nodded reassuringly.</p>
<p>Armai took a few moments of eye contact before taking a deep breath and nodding. “I supposed I will be back in a day,” he said before his gaze moved to one of the drow Clerics in the room, who beckoned him forwards. Armai squeezed Essek’s hand once, about to step away before Essek pulled him back. He turned his head to question before he suddenly had Essek’s lips on his - the feeling warm and familiar. It was brief, however, as Essek pulled away with a very faint smile.</p>
<p>“See you in a day,” the drow said before letting Armai go, gliding back a bit as Armai turned and began to walk towards the Cleric. Said Cleric, an older female drow, helped Armai onto the table, and was even kind enough to give him a pillow to rest his head on.</p>
<p>“Are you ready?” She asked, other Clerics in the room starting to stand at the edge of the circles of runes, their hands folded in front of them as they waited. Armai nodded wordlessly. “Alright,” the woman said simply, placing her hands on the sides of Armai’s face before taking a deep breath before beginning her incantations, all of which were in Undercommon. After a few moments, the other Clerics began to join her, all chanting in Undercommon as the runes began to glow in a similar green to the candles. The room was glowing bright with arcane (or perhaps divine?) green energy, as it felt like the air was being sucked out of Armai’s lungs. Brighter. Brighter. Brighter. Black.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**********</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He remembered everything. Growing up in a small town, but going to Rexxentrum for school. Bren Aldric Ermendrud. Young. Bright. Talented.</p>
<p>He remembered the fire he had caused. The screams of his parents from within the house. Going insane and needing to be sent away. An unnamed husk with no true ability to speak, plagued by the screams of people long gone.</p>
<p>He remembered being saved and set free. Running away and hiding. Getting captured and locked away. Meeting Nott - no, Veth. No, Nott. The names were different but one in the same. Nott and Veth. Nott and Veth. Nott Veth.</p>
<p>He remembered it just being the two of them. And then the others. Fjord. Beau. Yasha. Caduceus. The Mighty Nein. He remembered heavy loss - Mollymauk, the mysterious tiefling that was only there sometimes in his dreams. He remembered traveling and fighting and talking and learning.</p>
<p>He remembered Rosohna. Being there for the first time. Sticking their noses where it shouldn’t be. The beacon he had given back. The favor they had gotten with the Bright Queen.</p>
<p>He remembered talks of peace. He remembered being involved, of having a hand in saving Wildemount from destroying itself. And then he remembered the wedding - or the proposal, and then the wedding. And then he remembered all the signs of growing old. Of getting weaker. Of seeing Essek look upon him with both love and sadness. He remembered the consecution ritual, of knowing that he would one day come back to Essek. </p>
<p>And then he remembered his parents, appearing to him, telling him it was time for the next path, the next door, the next life. And a vision of a door being shut, and time passing, the wood of the door aging and the metal upon it slowly rusting, before the door was blown wide open once more, the warm orange glow from within flooding his senses and taking him in, mixing with the faint blue glow that he had with him, forming a new sort of light; a combination of new and old, showing colors he had never even seen before.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**********</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Caleb Widogast sat straight up, his eyes wide as he took heavy breaths, air filling his lungs for what felt like the first time in forever. He looked around, remembering his life now, and his life then. He was himself; he was Caleb Widogast, but he was also still Armai Arivine, the young tiefling mage who spent most of his life waiting for this moment, waiting for those answers. He felt his body shaking (out of excitement, fear, or exhaustion, he was entirely unsure) as he looked around the room, the Clerics beginning to break ranks now that he had awoken. He saw them hunched over slightly, exhausted from an entire day’s worth of casting and work. </p>
<p>He swung his legs over the side of the table, taking a moment to sit before he stood up completely. He looked around, not seeing Essek, but seeing the old female Cleric was the closest to him. “Where did Essek wander off to?” He asked out loud, his voice now carrying faint but fading traces of a Zemnian accent. </p>
<p>The Cleric turned to him before smiling. “He had something to attend to before you fully returned, but he said that he’ll meet you back at his place,” She replied with a knowing look. Caleb nodded, thanking her as he - shakily at first - started to walk quickly out the door, out into the streets of Rosohna. </p>
<p>The streets looked even more familiar now, as me smiled. He snapped, summoning Frumpkin into his arms as he walked. “It’s better to see you when I can remember you properly, my old friend,” Caleb said with a smile as he continued to walk down the road, holding his beloved cat as he made his way back home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>**********</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He didn’t even get all the way up the stairs of Essek’s towers when he heard the front door open. He looked up to see Essek standing there, still in his casual clothes, but this time levitating slightly. Caleb’s heart - Armai’s heart? - melted upon looking at the familiar silver eyes, and raced the rest of the way up the stairs, setting Frumpkin down on the way up before running into Essek, arms going around him as he kissed the drow - his husband - tenderly, holding him tight as if he were scared he was going to disappear. Eventually, Essek walked them inside; they had some catching up to do.</p>
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